by solomon on

1. Skin softener

spermSperm contains an anti-oxidant called spermine that is thought to diminish wrinkles, smooth the skin, and help with acne. Looking to take advantage of these much sought after attributes, a Norwegian company called Bioforskning (you can’t make this stuff up) has synthesized the compound and is selling it as a facial cream. These, uh, sp3 rmine facials cost $250 and can be ordered through Townhouse Spa, or for $125 Graceful Services.

  1. Cooking 

Those looking to take their culinary skills to the next level should check out a book by Fotie Photenhauer called Natural Harvest, a collection of semen-based recipes.

  1. Painting

Artist Martin Von Ostrowski is known for using bodily fluids as his paint mediums (including his infamous portrait of Hitler made from his own excrement). Back in 2008, Von Ostrowski put out an exhibition at the Gay Museum in Berlin in which he featured works painted with his own semen.

  1. Invisible ink

Back during World War I, the British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) discovered thats3m3n could act as an effective invisible ink. In June 1915, Walter Kirke, deputy head of military intelligence in France, wrote in his diary that chief Mansfield Cumming (yes), was “making enquiries for invisible inks at the London University.” Rumor at the time had it that semen worked particularly well, and follow-up studies showed that it did not react to the usual methods of detection (including iodine vapor).

  1. An anti-Depressant for women

Another potential application for semen is its use as an anti-depressant. This idea is quite controversial — but there is a modicum of scientific evidence to support it. A study done back in 2002 showed that women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers concluded that this was on account of mood-altering hormones in the semen being absorbed through the vagina — and that they had ruled out other explanations (New Scientist didn’t entirely agree — proposing a number of their own). That said, as Jesse Bering haspointed out, “there’s good in this goo”:

  1. Ovulation control

A recent study at the University of Saskatchewan has discovered that a protein in semen acts on the female brain to prompt ovulation — and that it’s the same molecule that regulates the growth, maintenance, and survival of nerve cells. As a result, it’s very possible that semen acts as a hormonal signal, working through the hypothalamus of the female brain and the pituitary gland. This in turn triggers the release of other hormones that signal the ovaries to release an egg.

  1. Help with morning sickness

Okay, this is probably the last thing a woman is thinking about when she’s suffering through morning sickness, but psychologist Gordon Gallup at SUNY-Albany, a male member of the human species who specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, is suggesting that oral s 8 x could serve as a kind of cure.Gordon theorizes that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are rejecting the sperm’s genetic material as something foreign and unfamiliar.

  1. Archival storage of information

In what gives new meaning to the term “hard drive”, human sperm — a transmitter of DNA — could be used to store information — a lot of information. We recently reported on a breakthrough by Sriram Kosui and his team at Harvard and Johns Hopkins in which he devised a technique for archiving information in DNA.

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Written by: solomon


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